The Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life

Peter Whyte Receives Maximum Sentence for Murder Of Sue Weiland

For those of you who have followed the story of Sue Weiland's murder I wanted to share this final chapter in the case against Peter Whyte. And while this does bring some closure to one part of this story, I'd like to ask that you please keep the Weiland family in your thougths and prayers as they continue their lives in the wake of this tragic loss. What follows here the announcement on the sentencing as written by Sue's brother, Patrick.

November 12, 2007
WHYTE GETS MAXIMUM SENTENCE.   THERE IS, FINALLY, JUSTICE FOR SUE.
Ignoring pleas for leniency by Whyte and his attorneys today, St. Croix County Judge Eric Lundell gave Whyte the maximum sentence for the murder of Suzanne Weiland.  Whyte was sentenced to 60 years for second degree intentional homicide; he'll spend 40 years in state prison, and another 20 years probation.   That means Whyte will remain behind bars until he is 89 years old.   (Whyte will get 14 months credit for time served in the county jail awaiting trial.)

Whyte was convicted in September after a nearly two week trial in which he claimed self-defense.   The jury factored Whyte's claim into their verdict when they convicted him of second degree intentional homicide, rather than first degree intentional homicide which prosecutors had sought.  Judge Lundell said that made his job of sentencing easier, since the self-defense claim had already been considered as part of the verdict.  Whyte had asked for 10 years behind bars, his lawyers for 15 years.  But Judge Lundell gave him the maximum, citing that eight of the stab wounds were fatal, and that Whyte could have walked away at anytime on the night of August 20, 2006 when Weiland was murdered.

Suzanne's family reacted with relief and gratefulness today.  There is finally justice for Sue, and finally time for closure.  Our entire family would like to thank all of those who stood by us during the past 14 months.  We can never fully express to you just how much your kind words, your thoughts and your prayers have meant to us.  Truly, thank you. 

Our family also wanted again to thank the authorties in St. Croix County...the sheriff, the district attorney's, the deputies...and especially Asst. D.A. Frank Collins and Ann Gustafson from the disctrict attorney's office.  Their tireless search for a fair trial and for justice was truly amazing.  I have never seen anything like it.

On the way into court today, my dad said he saw an brilliant shaft of sunlight coming through the clouds, and he felt Sue's prescience in it.   He told the DA that he feels Sue is speaking to us through nature.   A large bald eagle has been hanging around my mom's lake place lately, perched at the end or her driveway.  I wonder if it's the same bald eagle that my mom and dad and I saw launch from Sue's gravesite on the morning of October 23rd.   Yes, a bald eagle right in the heart of Minneapolis...it took off and made a couple loops over us as we stood in awe.

You could say it's just the grieving trying to find some meaning in the things around us.... but I think there's something more.   I hope-- we all hope-- you see a sign of Sue's spirit out there somewhere.   It's beautiful.   

Patrick Weiland
Los Angeles

Sue Weiland's Body Returns to Family

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise. Maya Angelou

This is the poem that the family read like a prayer prior to each day's court testimonies over the past two weeks.  On Wednesday, September 12th, Peter Whyte was found guilty of second degree intentional homocide nearly thirteen months after Sue's murder. Sentencing will take place in 6-8 weeks, with a maximum sentence of 60 years.

With the trial now over, Sue's remains were returned to the family. In a private ceremony for immediate family, they were able to lay Sue to rest just 2 days before her 41st birthday.

They are exhausted, as you may well imagine. The last two months have been particularly draining as the family passed first the anniversary of Sue's murder on August 20th and then, most unexpectedly, Sue's aunt, her mother Mary's last sibling, passed away the following day just as the family was preparing to head into trial after the Labor day weekend.  She was well-loved and a favorite of Patrick's and her passing was quite a blow to an already grieving family.

Within days of this loss, the family was then sequestered for much of the trial before being brought in to testify. I spoke with Patrick and his mom on Sunday. Patrick described the tactics of the defense, which included parading around the court room with pictures of Sue's brutalized body continually angled out toward her observing family as another violation.  In the end, however, the closing arguments of the prosecution were able to put a human face back on Sue and restore her dignity.  Mary Weiland said the closing argument was so moving and powerful that "It was like listening to Lincoln."

It has been a marathon for this family who has so willingly allowed their story to be made public in the hope of raising awareness of domestic abuse so that future tragedies like Sue's might be avoided.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as they now move forward into a time for more private grieving.

Patrick will be putting up the Justice for Sue site again in the future for those interested in details related to the sentencing of Patrick Whyte.

No Such Thing as Closure for the Weiland Family

People talk about closure. That I need closure. I hate the word 'closure'.

Mary Weiland was sharing part of her journey this past year in the wake of her daughter, Sue's, murder last August.

I nodded.  "What about integration? Maybe this just all gets folded in to your life and becomes a part of it.  Nothing is going back to the way it used to be. I don't know that there is such a thing as closure."

"Oh. I like that word. Integration."

Scott and I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with the Weiland family so we could attend the first annual "Ma's Farm Festival", the proceeds from which would go to benefit local area shelters Turning Point and Grace Place.  If there is one thing I can share with you about the weekend it is the amazing grace with which this family is extending themselves while integrating this very personal tragedy into their ever more public lives.

You wouldn't think that a family coming fast upon the first anniversary of a tragic death would be much fun to be around, especially when you add the trial coming right after Labor Day and Sue's funeral some as-yet-undetermined time after.  You wouldn't expect them to be involved in two fundraising events in that time and to still think to make Snickerdoodles for you during your visit so you would have yummy treats on the way home. 

And with the exception of Patrick, who has a long and illustrious career in the media, complete with Peabody and Livingston Awards under his belt, this is not a family that has been practiced and polished for a life in the public eye.  They are just a regular Midwestern family; the kind that took family vacations at National Parks, had cookouts and occassionally thumbed their noses at convention by having popcorn for dinner.  The kind of family where the mom has figured out just the right way to adjust the chocolate chip cookie recipe so you cannot resist daydreaming about ways to get yourself adopted by her. The kind of mom who, when you confess said daydreams, let's you know that she already has adopted you and hands you another cookie.

Of course, when I say normal, I don't mean to say they don't have idiosyncracies.

March of the Tombstones

My, my, this has taken a while to get to.  Surely it's old news, right, this Weiland story?

The answer to that is still no.  Sue's trial is not likely to start until fall, over a year since her murder. And, being evidence and not yet released by the attorneys, her body has yet to be buried.

Today Scott and I are heading to Wisconsin for Ma's Farm Festival, a fundraising event for two local organizations that provide services to women who have been the victims of domestic abuse. It will be the first time I have seen the Weiland family since joining them in the Walkathon to benefit Turning Point Shelter last fall.

Feels like a good time to share the last installment of the story I started long ago...

When I last left you, gentle readers, I was finding myself stepping quite uncomfortably over the "line of safe distance", feeling the weight of the public nature of this very private story and my place in it.

Guest Blogger Patrick with More on Grief: Where Religion Fails Me

This is the second post I offer you from the book Patrick created in memory of his sister. In light of the tragic events at Virginia Tech, I know that grief and coping with senseless loss of life is on the minds of many so this seems a fitting post for this time. I encourage you to read the prior post as well, and be sure to read Dick Rowan's comments. He lives right in the thick of this grieving community and raises hard questions about the usefulness of media impacted grief.

This is where most of religion fails me.

If God were truly "all-powerful", a God with a master plan, then he would be one sick, twisted and sadistic deity for no spirit of benevolence could unleash such horror and suffering upon those who he created in his own image and called his children.

Even if God's hand wasn't directly involved, could your all-powerful God sit idly by and watch the horror show that is humanity without intervention? Such a God would not be worthy of my worship.

Sue's death was not part of God's plan. My God is not a punishing God. And God did not "take" Sue from us, as people have said out of, I guess, a lack of words.

I think every person knows at some core level that the God they pray to is not plotting their destruction. At least one would hope, because worshipping a punishing God as we were taught--well isn't that essentially domestic abuse? Could you love someone who had the power to stop the holocaust, yet did not? Could you worship a God who could tolerate watching children starve in the dust of Africa and do nothing?

No wonder politicians love religion; it desensitizes us to hypocrisy and makes it tolerable.  And so the image of God as an all-powerful, punishing one rules in most religion. But what they're preaching, in effect, is adherence to an unhealthy relationship.

Maybe that's why the domestic abuse that Sue suffered persists. Why domestic abuse is often ignored. How abuse is too often tolerated without intervention.

And yet, it baffles people whose most frequent response to domestic violence is, "Why would she go back?" or "How coud she stay?"

If you pray to a punishing God, you know the answer to those questions.

It required no conspiracy, no "da Vinci code"-like cover-up story to perpetuate. The persistence of the

Grief Sucks

If you've been to the Justice for Sue site recently, you may have noted that Patrick Weiland created a book in memory of his sister, Sue, who was murdered last August. Those of you new to this blog can read about my relationship with the Weiland family here.

Patrick sent me a copy of the book. Such a gift and so beautifully done.  As Patrick describes it, this book was a way to help him grieve the loss of his sister. It's a celebration of her life as well as a candid look at the impact of her tragic loss as Patrick and his family figure out how to live in the wake of this tragedy.  It's a compilation of the words of many people, including a couple essays from Patrick.  With his permission I'll share them with you here. This isn't easy to read, but then again, that's the point.

Grief Sucks by Patrick Weiland

Grief is like smoking cigarettes. It's bad for your health and it makes you look ten years older.

Grief is messy. It hurts like hell. It brings on unwelcome emotions that people work hard to avoid like rage, anxiety and depression.  Then it suck all the fun emotions out of you like joy, happiness, your love of food and simply hunger, and the desire for something I vaguely remember called sex.  Oh, and the prescription drugs that offer relief for all those things, the doctors say they

Weiland Family Continues to Grieve, Body Remains in Morgue

I have not written about the Weiland's in a while, and have not forgotten that I have more to say. For those who think that I missed the opportunity to talk about the ways Sue's death impacted me, I hate to tell you, but it is not old news.  Due to a monumental backlog at the crime lab, Sue's body has had to remain unburied.  The trial, set to begin in May, could be delayed to September.  The WI State Senate today recently voted to approve the hiring of 31 additional staff in the WI State Crime lab to deal with the incredible volume of pending cases, including Sue's.

WCCO TV CBS Minneapolis ran this news story, featuring an interview with Sue's mom, Mary, discussing the impact on the family.

And as a reminder:

On the national Day To End Sexual Violence scheduled for April 5th, 2007, Marcella Chester will be coordinating a Blog Against Sexual Violence event. The goal is to get as many bloggers as possible to participate.  Read more at Blog Against Sexual Violence Day 5 April 2007 posted at Abyss2hope. This event is an opportunity for all bloggers to get into the trenches and help make the world a safer place by clearly communicating our opposition to sexual violence.

Crossing the Line of Safe Distance

It was August when I learned of her death and October when I met her family for the first time to join them on a walk to benefit the domestic violence shelter she had sought aid from in the past. It is now January and I am only now telling you the rest of the story of that weekend.

Old news, right?

Unfortunately, no. You see, Sue Weiland has yet to be buried. Her body is still being held as evidence, not yet released by the attorneys in the case. Peter Whyte pled not guilty at his arraignment on October 23rd of last year. The trial is slated to begin on May 7, 2007. For those interested in the felony procedure, a flow chart of the process  from the Wisconsin Department of Justice guide is provided for you at the Justice for Sue site (scroll down to the Sept 9th entry).

As for myself, I have been held in a different way, unable to write. Of course, volumes of words have spilled out in this blog in the three months since I met the Weilands but none of them have been the post I really wanted to write.

You see, I was locked. Not blocked. Locked. Locked in a moment. Specifically this one:

War Story: A "Domestic" Through the Eyes of a Cop

Guest Blogger: Jason

There is a little tradition in police culture. It’s called the war story. Maybe it’s not unique to my culture but it is certainly an important aspect. We like to tell each other stories in my profession. Sometimes to teach, sometimes to impress, sometimes just to affirm that we’ve been there.

I was certainly there that night. I have always felt very much alive when I’m in danger. I won't tell you that I’m without fear. I feel very apprehensive going into action. Sometimes I think “Wow, I’m really getting in over my head, this is gonna hurt”. But I go anyway, because it’s my duty. It’s just the way I am, which is to say I’m not too bright. But when I head into danger my senses sharpen, my mind comes into sharp focus and I start thinking much faster than I can speak or act. I really feel alive, maybe because I have a purpose.

So, about that night. It was winter a few years ago. There was snow on the ground and it was deep in some spots. I received a call from radio that some guy called 911 for help. Mr. X reported that his wife was seeing another man and now the man was in X’s house. I get the address and I tell radio that I’m on route.

The Escalating Cycle of Domestic Abuse

In the autumn of 2006, I had the opportunity to join the Weiland family in a walkathon to raise awareness on the issue of domestic abuse.  As I wove my way along with so many of her friends and relatives one recurring theme overheard in their conversations was a fervent hope that no one would forget what had happened.