The Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life

Practice is Practice

This was a comment from Erin on an old post in a long abandoned blog of mine.  Given my recent posts on alone time, recent changes in my life and her experience serving the pilgrims along the Camino de Santiago, I just had to salvage it. Turns out the comment is timeless. Priceless.

Erin and I have both found that whenever we set our minds to something, or voice something we intend to do or might like, or you know, have a fantasy about running away to be contemplatives and leave the rat race behind, we get immediate tests on our convictions from the Universal Bus Driver we affectionately refer to as Ralphie. (Ralph Kramden).

Hee hee hee. OK, now I´m laughing MY butt off, but just a little. I do like knowing these "Oh yeh, did you think you really meant that?" gauntlets are evenly distributed.

BTW, I wouldn't spend too much time on the monastery fantasy. Reading a cool book I picked up on my monastery vaca - a juicy history of the Carthusians in Spain, and it's got it all - power struggles, pithy marketing copy to get to be prior, jostling to get out of lonely bell duty and promoted to the library, a murder or two, children with the milkmaid....I'm thinking there's no escape.

Practice is practice wherever you put yourself...

Although singing daily would be nice.

The New Career Arc: Boomers Redefine "Retirement", Feel Drawn to Fulfill Purpose

If my post on my husband's recent shift in his worklife has you thinking about mid-lifers and the implications of late life career changes for the larger society, I can recommend an interesting read for you. This excerpt from a past issue of the DesMoines Register (the actual article is not online anymore, unfortunately) outlines the current mid-life dilemma:

Midlifers No Longer Educable?

According to Freud, "About the age of 50, the elasticity of the mental processes on which treatment depends is, as a rule, lacking. Old people are no longer educable."

Happily, we have come a long way sinecd 1907 and recent discoveries in neuroscience show that the aging brain is more flexible and adaptable than we previously thought. Studies suggest that the brain's left and right hemispheres become better integrated during middle age, making way for greater creativity.

In The Myth of the Midlife Crisis, Gene Cohen, M.D. notes :

Frustrated at the Crossroads? Is Everyone Else Making "It" Look Easy?

When one endeavors to make major life changes, it is not unusual to experience periods of fear, disorientation, self-doubt and pain. In fact, those feelings are actually quite normal and a sign that one is doing very significant work. We are all creatures of habit and making changes in our patterns can be incredibly difficult. As if to make matters worse, many of us tend to cast judgments on ourselves in the middle of the struggle. I have heard it from clients many times, “What is my problem?!” This should be so easy but I’m really struggling with this.” “I really don’t have any problems, so what is wrong with me?! Why am I feeling this way?”

Gotta Love That Ripple Effect

I dedicate this post to those who are amused by synchronicity and to Erin (Who the hell is driving this bus?) Corcoran.

Recently I have been feeling a strong pull to do things differently at Wellspring and this blog. So I decided to shake off some of the blogosphere and go back to basics to make sure that everything I am doing is right for me and, I sincerely hope, valuable for you.  As often happens when you do this kind of re-evaluation, things can become a little destabilized.

In fact, for you synchroncity fans, a funny thing happened this weekend that can only be taken as confirmation that major clearing is underway.  This weekend our waste ejection pump AND our sump pump went out (we're on septic) and took their respective fuses with them.  So, on Saturday we had a septic man, a plumber and an electrician here, to the tune of somewhere between $3 and 4K of unanticipated expenses. Oh, and this is tax month. And did I mention I bought a new camera.  Um, and the tickets to see Erin in Spain? And the washer needed a $500 repair just last week.  All told we have shelled out something like $22,000 THIS MONTH, over and above mortgage and all the normal expenses of life. 

No, this is not convenient, but thanks for asking.

So, the thing is, any normal person would have probably snuck off quietly to throw up, but I couldn't because we couldn't use our toilets, so I did the next best thing...admitted that this did not seem at all coincidental.

Mid-Life Crisis: It's Not Just for Men Anymore!

A report on midlife crisis story in Career Journal begins:

"The "midlife crisis" has long been thought of as something that afflicts men and often involves expensive toys and second wives. But the Wall Street Journal's Work & Family columnist, Sue Shellenbarger, says that as gender roles change, women are increasingly experiencing their own version of these upheavals."

I've certainly seen evidence of this in my own work as a personal development and business coach. My practice is comprised primarily of women and although it tends to be my male clients who volunteer the term "mid-life crisis". When describing their current state, however, the women are certainly running a parallel course.

What constitutes a crisis?

Just Noticeable Difference

It seems like such a small thing. "Auntie Laura." Not Auntie Voylya. Not Auntie Rorla, which came after. Auntie Laura. It's been a week of all the kids in my life stepping over these little lines. While we were all turning our clocks back, they all took one small step forward and time moved forward with them. Corinne pronouncing my name (kids always struggle with Laura, so each kid has always had their own mysterious version...).

Jacob, who used to talk to me forever about whatever stream of consciousness he was into asked me,

"Hi Aunt Laura. So, why'd ya call?"

He's got a Game Boy possession going now. All the kids at the recent Halloween party are now becoming teenagers. The basement we used to dance in is now their domain. Adults dancing was definitely not cool with them. Kills me. And Monique, who has made Christmas cookies and a gingerbread village with me every year since she was five is leaving for college next year so, for now at least, this year will be our last in this unbroken tradition. Something about this feels like the awkward adolescence of middle age. I remember that terrible period between adulthood and childhood, as the oldest grandkid. That crazy void in the middle. This is kind of like that. Too old to dance. Too young to give it up. Hmmm....

Mid-Life Crisis: It's Not Just for Men Anymore!

A story in Career Journal begins:

"The "midlife crisis" has long been thought of as something that afflicts men and often involves expensive toys and second wives. But the Wall Street Journal's Work & Family columnist, Sue Shellenbarger, says that as gender roles change, women are increasingly experiencing their own version of these upheavals."

Regardless of your gender, few would argue that career choices and options are on a lot of people's minds now, one of the major concerns for those in "midlife crisis".

What constitutes a crisis?