The Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life

What Do You Believe? Penn Jillette on the Existence of God

Penn Jillette (Penn & Teller) has a very interesting essay on NPR's This I Believe site. Here's a quote

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Full essay here.

Practical Steps for Making Meaning

In follow-up to yesterday's interview with Eric Maisel on The Van Gogh Blues, one of our readers, Rachel, put up this post on her practical approach to making meaning. She lays out a very nice 8 step process as an additional help for those wanting to apply Maisel's principles in their meaning making efforts.  Rachel is a very interesting, insightful, educated and intelligent woman (which may sound redundant, but sadly the two don't always go hand in hand.) I encourage you to get to know her, check out her bio and surf her blog.

And, yes, I DID say I love shovelling.  Remind me to keep my big mouth shut. I still love it, but dang, every other day is a little much...

Musings on Getting What We Need

This is a snippet of conversation that I had with my friend Peter about whether we get what we need in life. I have tended to lean to the side that believes that we always get what we need and Peter, in his astute and discerning way wanted to kick the tires on my theory...

You know, I think watching Michael Schwass and, recently my mom after her stroke, has shaped my thinking on this. Just taking the example of Michael, who has had so much taken away from him due to his quadriplegia...seeing the paradox of this incredibly powerful man locked in this incredibly dependent body...does he have everything he needs?  Gosh, I'd love for him to have a million things more...like the ability to turn his head from side to side or up to see the an amazing cloud formation. Or enough hours of uptime in a day to really channel more of himself out there because he has so much to teach. And here he had aspirations of becoming a professional hockey player.  All indications were that he would. And yet, he got nothing he needed to make that true. Lost all of it and so much more.

And yet...

And yet, I can tell you that the impact just on my life (and I'm only one of a sea of those who has influenced) has been so profound. 

So, do we get to say what it is we will be used for?  Do we get to say what our larger purpose is in the scheme of things? 

Do we wish for more or different for ourselves?  Only every other day, I think.  But if we release ourselves and pay attention, is it the case that we really are exactly where we are supposed to be?  Are we being given what we need to play our part in the larger story? 

I say yes.  It's just not a rational yes.  It's a yes in my heart. 

I can't deny that many brilliant people have had doors slammed in their face and locked tight against them by people with far less talent and sometimes ill-gotten power and that far too many candles have been extinguished as a result.  There is also part of me that is so aware that some of those tragic stories, even the small ones have a way of being known, sometimes by just one person, who maybe shares them with just one other person (if only indirectly, in the way they move through life because of the first tragic story) and there is a ripple and sometimes we can't see it, but I do believe it is there.

If we step back and trust that we are part of a larger story and that, in some way, all works to the good, then I think we do get what we need.  I think sometimes the locked doors and the frustrated dreams...they grow us in some ways that we would not have grown before.  I don't mean to overly romanticize it or make this sound simple or like some candy-coated balm justifying the ills of the world.

It's like Joan Osborne sings in her song Spiderweb about a dream in which Ray Charles can see but can no longer sing.

"Dont' get me wrong, I'm glad he sees

Just like him best the other way."

I have to admit, for as much as I wish Michael could don a pair of skates again and could have had his dreams come true, his quadriplegia changed my life.  You hate to think that someone had to be martyred for the growth of other souls but you know there is quite a tradition around that...

More on Life Purpose: Sometimes You Leave Clues

When you find yourself wondering who you are, why you are here and what you are meant to do, it helps if you can learn to read your clues.

When I was a child, I had this little game I played. I used to read the ingredient labels of whatever I was eating and try to identify the taste of each separate ingredient. I would separate all the little bits of zucchini from the Campbell's vegetable soup, close my eyes and savor them until I could capture their "zucchini-ness" before moving on to carrots and potatoes. No small accomplishment! It got much easier when Chunky Soup was introduced to the market, believe me. I was probably in third or fourth grade when I started conducting those experiments in extracting the essence of life.

What inspired me to do this? My husband has a theory:

And a child is born: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 10

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You just might be surprised

But then again, it might make perfect sense that breaking free from what no longer serves you in being the person you want to be allows what you have always loved to re-emerge. For me, I have found my childhood love of mythology has come back full force as I embark on a study to understand the great stories of the human journey. My fascination with animals and nature is now expressed through my photography. My Nancy Drew cookbook and Susie Homemaker Oven have flowed in to several nights as a guest chef in Charlie Trotters kitchen. I take such delight in my life, now immersing myself in those things I “never had time” for. I no longer turn my joyful engagement with life into perfection driven tasks (Ever play a game with a sore loser? Ever exhaust yourself staying up all night preparing to host a perfect party where every single dish had to be made from scratch by your 2 hands?)

As Joseph Campbell said, “Follow your bliss.” He’s right. You are a better person when you are blissful. The world needs more people who glow and play and delight in life. You will be amazed what you can accomplish when you are in love with your life. We need your Sacred Yes.

Now go on, you’ve got a Dragon to slay. Your playmates are waiting for you on the other side of the battlefield.

The Importance of Environment: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 9

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Feed yourself well!

If you find yourself facing questions of the magnitude listed about please don’t expect yourself to deliver the Sacred No without support! I see people all the time who try to bring their lives in more true alignment with their values and sense of integrity without anyone being ‘inconvenienced’ by it. The truth is, change doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Stepping forward strongly and boldly to create a life of your own design is big work and not for the faint of heart. Gather those things and people which keep you strong. Surround yourself with people who are really invested in your being fulfilled and joyful in your life. Find ways to protect yourself from those who aren’t. Read what inspires you to remain true to the vision you have for your life. Control your media diet. Create an environment for yourself that supports you in bringing your full energy to creating a life you can be proud of and delight in. And, forewarned is forearmed: Expect things to get crazy. You can’t blow on one piece of a mobile without the whole thing dancing around wildly. Sometimes things fall apart so that the right things can fall together. It’s okay to be scared…to have self doubt…to wonder if you are just going through a ‘phase’. That’s why this work takes the courage of a lion.

Continue to Part 10

Intuition and Integrity: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 8

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You have 2 “I’s”

Intuition and Integrity. Once you get in the habit of spending regular time with yourself (this may take some time if you are used to rushing around in your life), you will start to become aware of your internal companions. Your intuition is that small voice that tells you, “double check that ladder before you climb up”, “this job offer sounds good but I don’t feel excited about it”, “this is a person I can trust”. We’ve all heard stories of folks saying things like, “I just had a feeling that I should go a different way today and then I heard there was a huge accident right where I normally would have been driving. That could have been me.” We all have intuition. We all have had experiences when we have ignored our intuition and paid a price. Creating regular space for yourself will help you tune in to the wisdom that your intuition brings to you daily.

Calling forth the Lion: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 7

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Put aside the To Do List for the love of God!

Wow, this is a hard one for folks. Unscheduled time. It amazes me how many people actively avoid being alone with themselves. “I hate being bored.” “I have so much to do.” “I hate to waste time.” “They need me right now.”

Hear this, please. If you almost willfully avoid being with yourself in a conscious deliberate way on a regular basis you will never call forth the lion. PERIOD. How you are with yourself is up to you. The possibilities are endless. You can walk, pray, journal, meditate, weed your garden, reflect on old pictures of yourself at various times in your life, hire a coach to engage in deep conversation about what is true for you in your life right now, eat mindfully, turn off the television, make art. The key is to be present to whatever it is you are doing. Show up to yourself. No multitasking and no whining about all the important things you are supposed to be doing allowed. You have to believe that you are worth getting to know.

This may be really uncomfortable for you. Expect it. Get curious about it. Explore it. Notice any fears or resistance you may have to really being in touch with yourself.

Continue to Part Eight

Recognizing the Camel: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 6

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Sometimes it’s the little things

How can you know if you are in ‘camel mode’? Watch how you make decisions and notice when you begin to feel insecure or second guess yourself. This can be very hard to do alone because we can’t always see ourselves clearly. This is why working with therapists, coaches and mentors can be so valuable. So much of who we are happens out of our conscious awareness because by the time we reach adulthood many of our responses are ‘conditioned’, habitual ways of reacting to situations we find ourselves in.

Getting to YOUR Sacred Yes: Finding Your Life Purpose, Part 5

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As you step out onto your own journey in earnest there are a few things to keep in mind that will make the road less perilous.

Don’t beat yourself up, or anyone else for that matter.

First, have compassion and patience for your camel. Even more importantly, do whatever you have to do to get past the temptation to blame everyone who had a hand in loading you up. If you find that the burdens you carry lead you to feel like a victim, or trap you in bitterness and resentment, don’t hesitate to get the assistance of competent professionals to help you untangle yourself from these traps. After all, you need your energy for much bigger things.