The Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life

Laying Down the Badge

Regulars readers of my articles may have wondered where my brother, Sergeant Young, has run off to after providing us with a few excellent posts on life behind the badge.

Well, two months ago he did what for many police officers is nearly unimaginable. He laid down his badge and walked away just 8 years shy of retirement. He did this completely on his own, for no other reason than he recognized what it was costing him to stay. He sent me his story to share with you and I am honored to do so. Any of you who have struggled hard with the issue of career change will find much to think about here.

There is a saying that I have grown fond of. It is not my own but I use it from time to time. The saying goes that you can’t look into the void without the void looking into you.

Traffic Stops

A day in the life of a police officer...

This is a continuation of Be Careful What You Seek.

The day continues with more driving in circles and intermittent radio traffic. I see a big SUV with fancy rims heading west on another main drag. I pass him heading in the other direction. Just as I pass I see the SUV make a left turn from the right lane. What the hell? I turn around and proceed after the SUV to make a traffic stop. Might be a Mexican National I think to myself. It isn’t cynical, there are valid reasons why that popped into my mind. First, there are a heck of a lot of Mexican Immigrants in my community, both documented and undocumented. The second, and equally important part of my assessment comes from my experience with the rules of the road in Mexico. In the areas where I have traveled in order to make a left turn off of the main roads you must pull to the right lane. It’s different but it works well enough in Mexico. It just doesn’t fly too well here. Anyway it doesn’t matter where the driver is from. A moving violation has been committed and I need to look into it because that is what I am paid for.

Be Careful What You Seek

From Guest Blogger, Jason:

It was an interesting day for me. Not really because it was unique. Probably more because of my frame of mind.

I was driving down one of the main drags in town, a state highway really. State law provides for the reduction of the normal speed limit to something a little more reasonable through built up areas, in this case the speed limit is 35.

So I’m driving along and I begin to notice the car ahead of me. It is an older Cadillac, in pretty rough shape. It is occupied by several people, they happen to be black. But what has drawn my attention is that they are traveling at the whopping speed of………20 miles per hour. Strangely, the thing that irritates me more than a speeder is someone traveling well below the speed limit. Actually, traveling so slow as to impede traffic or create a hazard is a misdemeanor offense. So I putter along behind the Cadillac, which now has its left turn signal on. I figure the driver intends to enter the park we’re approaching but the signal is on way too soon. Now this kind of behavior suggests a few possibilities for the Officer. I could be behind a drunk driver, or maybe the driver is lost or unsure of the area. Or, the driver might be elderly.

I’ve come across elderly drivers who prided themselves on their spotless driving records after I’ve stopped them. They have often become so cautious, maybe because of expanding reaction times, that they present a hazard to all of the other motorists that they share the road with. Its funny that an elderly driver might get stopped several times in a week, each time by a different officer. Each time the officer runs the license and sure enough, no points or history on it. So the officer decides to give a warning. Heck, who wants to be the one to give that nice old person (on a fixed income) a ticket, their first one ever at that? So the elderly person, who would have racked up five or six moving violations in a one or two week period continues on, with no official blemishes, to terrorize the motoring public.

My advice? Cite early, cite often.

Anyway, the Cadillac. There may be yet another reason for the hyper cautious driving style. Maybe the driver is suspended, or worse. Now, with a police car behind him he doesn’t want to attract any attention so he puts on his “worlds best driver” camouflage to throw me off the scent.

The Fool's Adventures or How to Spend an Evening on $5 or less

So I’m sitting on the sofa in my living room. My son has just sucked down five ounces of the foul smelling soy formula we’ve been feeding him. The windows are open because the evening is cool, and the utility company already has enough of my money.

The sound of cracking branches draws my attention. "That’s not normal", I think to myself. The sound continues, accented by the rumble of a truck engine. I look over my shoulder at the window behind me. I part the curtain with one hand, and I see a large pickup truck playing wilderness explorer in my neighbor’s yard.

The truck is slowly pulling out of the row of shrubs running between the street and the neighbor’s front yard. My years of experience and an incredibly quick intellect suggest that something is amiss. I’m figuring this for a drunk driver. Now the dilemma. My little boy is relaxing on my lap. I’m off duty, and my super hero utility belt is stowed away for the night. What to do?

Policeman: On Being He and It

This is an older article reprinted for you here. A compelling view into the life of a police officer written by my brother, a sergeant, when asked to share his views on the world for a newsletter I once published.

My sister is wiser than me and more educated. I have read her “News from the Well” since she started writing it, so I know the general flavor of what she speaks of and have developed a mental picture (accurate or not) of the types of people that she speaks to. She asked me if I wanted the keys to the car...did I want to contribute to the newsletter?

I thought about this. What can I tell all of you?

I can’t help you earn more money or get past some obstacle in your life. I am not really in a place where I can make you feel better about the world. But I don’t think my sister brought me here for that. You see, I am the other side of the coin. I’m the darker side.

So I gave up on the notion that there is something good and wise that I can give you. Something handy, that will enrich your lives. What I have to say is harder to refine into a consumer good. But who knows? Something I say may fit into place for you.

So, I’m going to take the keys to the car, with you in it, and I’m going to drive really fast, and I’m going to drive through bad neighborhoods and I’m not going to signal my turns or make complete stops. You can bail out if you want but, like I always say, the world ain't made out of sugar cookies. To understand the world, to really appreciate the good, you have to see both sides of it. You can’t ignore the parts you don’t like.