Eight Thoughts on Pain in Relationships

Numbered lists like this are certainly not going to be the order of the day here, but I am in the process of taking down The Daily Dope Slap so we can give Michael a blog home all his own and I've been finding lots of little quotes, nudges and thoughts that you may want to reflect on a bit while I take care of that housecleaning.  Today's topic is pain in relationships. Discuss amongst yourselves...or in the comments below.

1. Loving with out fear is not the same thing as loving without pain. Any little fox ever tamed by any Little Prince knows that...
2. Causing pain and causing harm are not the same thing. Pain can be a signpost for an individual's personal work and an opportunity for growth. By contrast, harms impedes that growth.
3. Time does not heal all wounds, so stop being a big chicken, step up to the plate and deal with your challenges directly.
4. It is inevitable that even the closest, dearest people to you will sometimes disappoint you.
5. You may never really know what motivates someone to do what they do. You may never understand their choices.
6. Don't make anyone else and their eternal presence in your life a requirement for your happiness, your sanity, or your reason for being.
7. Being angry does not give you the right to be cruel, hurtful, demeaning, deceitful or to shirk responsibility.  It is not an excuse for anything. Do your best. Always do your best. 
8. You are responsible for what you do, no matter how you are feeling.

Comments

[Nicole]

Number four struck a chord in me. I'm recovering from a really bad relationship, but I think the worst part of it was that I didn't think the guy could ever do me wrong. Luckily, I found this book on the net that's been helping me get over it. And realize that yes, people will disappoint you, but it's getting over that hill that makes the man.

[Peter]

...and when the closest, dearest people disappoint you it can be a challenge to keep on loving them. But it can be done, especially if you remember number five.

[Steve]

I think number 2 is so poignant. Pain is absolutely necessary for our growth. We must never allow it to become an opportunity to wallow in misery, but rather use it to propel ourselves toward greater understanding, awareness and acceptance.