Personal Development and Perspective on Really Big Problems
Let us remember our lives are but moments in the flow of eternity...
and let us also remember that eternity is but a flow of lives like ours.
There is an interesting post by Steve Pavlina about how to get perspective on problems the magnitude of death, divorce, job loss and other circumstances that many people consider devastating.
As someone who has been consciously preparing for the eventual loss one of the most important people in my life, Michael Schwass, as he continues to face the impact of living with quadriplegia for over thirty years, I have come to appreciate that there is a middle ground between catastrophizing and looking at oneself as a miniscule speck in an overwhelmingly huge universe across all eternity.
This relates to an article by Scott Young (no, this isn't my husband, my Scott chose to keep his maiden name). Scott decided to tackle the topic of defining personal development. He made the distinction between lateral and vertical growth. Vertical growth is the upward, reach for the stars kind of growth. These might be goals along the lines of growing a business or setting out to establish a certain lifestyle . Career path is an easy one to put in this category.
Lateral growth is the stuff that expands your experience. By way of example, I put my spiritual growth in this category. I'm not trying to excel at something as much as I am immersing myself in my human experience and wrestling with questions of an existential nature. This includes thinking about the purpose of one's life, what it means and how we come to terms with our mortality.
Steve Pavlina reminds us that death and various tragic life experiences have happened to millions of people for thousands of years.
True.
But I am only going to lose Michael once.
And his brilliant life deserves a fine ending surrounded by people that will not freak out (his death could be a year from now, or five. No one knows, but it's certainly true that nearly 32 years of quadriplegia are taking their toll. His life should be celebrated for all he is given to those who have been touched by his magnificent story.
Are there millions of magnificent stories peppered throughout human history?
Of course.
But, at the end of the day, this is my Michael, who impacted my life and grew me spiritually as no one else has.
My journey is a personal one.
Nothing special. Just very, very personal.
If I wasn't so dedicated and disciplined with my lateral growth, I would not be able to show up to the beauty of watching an amazing life reach its completion.
Vertical growth pays my way in the world. It stretches and challenges, frustrates and energizes. It produces. It's quantitative. It's about SMART goals. It's what you are.
Lateral growth adds depth, richness and humanity. It's texture, torture, bliss, grief, discovery and expansion. It's qualitative. It's who you are.
Don't sacrifice one for the other.
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